"LEADERSHIP AS A 3-LEGGED STOOL"
Hilmar Covenant Church Council/Staff Retreat - January 9-10, 2009


Last weekend, we had our second annual church council/staff retreat. It was held at one of my most favorite, beautiful places in the whole world: the Honoré cabin in Felton, just north of Santa Cruz, in the middle of a huge grove of towering redwoods, not far from the Pacific coast. Even in January, it is often sunny and warm here, and the comfortable setting--inside the cabin and out--makes it the perfect place to retreat. Bruce, Bret, and I went over early on Friday to shop for food and to prepare supper so it would be ready when everyone arrived. But of course this also gave the three of us some time to relax and enjoy this exquisite bit of “paradise” before the retreat agenda began. Bret and Bruce headed for the hot tub, but my paradise was building a warm fire, putting my feet up on the couch, reading a fascinating new book I received for Christmas (“Demon”), and sampling some delicious lemon stilton cheese, rice crackers, and Bernardus “grape juice” with the towering trees rising up, visible through the skylights overhead. It was what I call: “a moment!”

The retreat is a time for new council members to get connected with those who are already serving, for church staff to share plans and concerns, for everyone to hear the priorities that the leadership considers most important for the coming year, and for issues to be discussed, questions to be raised, and perspectives and feelings to be shared all around. Usually a devotional or brief meditation is offered and there is prayer. However, like most church meetings, the amount of time given to this spiritual focus, compared to “business,” is rather small. Almost no time is spent just getting to know one another either.


Last year in one of our day-long staff gatherings to help us grow stronger as a unified team, Alan Forsman offered the image of a three-legged stool to demonstrate the important aspects necessary in developing a strong group or team of any kind. The three legs are: spirituality, chemistry (relationships), and strategy. For the stool to work correctly, it is obvious that all three legs must be equal in length, in strength, and be level. In terms, then, of building a strong, effective, unifed team or group, it is necessary for all three components--spirituality, chemistry, and strategy--to be given equal attention. If any one of the legs receives more emphasis, the other two legs shrink, are weakened, and of course the stool falls over.


How do most meetings, study groups, programs, and activities usually unfold in churches? How much focus do we give to strengthening the spiritual life and connection of those present? How much time is spent in getting to know one another--truly and deeply understanding the others--in our group, fellowship, or congregation? How much attention and energy is given to discussion of the business, the activity, the issues, the problems, concerns, and other matters related to strategy and the running of the church?

I would venture to say, based on my 28+ years in “professional” ministry, as well as many more years as a member and participant in various churches and Christian groups, that the third leg of the stool--the STRATEGY--is where most of our time and energy goes when we gather together for any reason. It is easier, more interesting, and perhaps more purposeful (we think!) to “take care of business!” To dive in and only focus on the program or activity, or just get into discussions about our perspective and understanding of things, our ideas and concerns, and to try and solve any problems that are affecting the work of the church or organization. Little to no time is given to the spiritual and relational components of the group. Consequently, the three-legged stool, which represents the congregation or organization, is unbalanced, weakened, and demands much more effort to maintain itself and to stay upright. Unfortunately, the energy that is expended to correct this often deals with the third leg--STRATEGY--even more! With changing approaches, activities, programs, staff, styles, times, and so forth, for the purpose of getting things balanced, stable, and successful once again. This only compromises the other two legs even more--and so forth and so on, in a downward spiral, that only comes to a halt when a major crisis erupts that focuses everyone’s attention on the church or group or organization once again.

I am so excited to say that this was NOT what occurred at our council/staff retreat this year! In fact, not a speck of time, attention, or energy was given to STRATEGY at all! Instead, the entire two days were about spirituality and chemistry.

After our fantastic dinner of barbecued steak and chicken, baked potatoes (with all the fixings), and salad, Rylen Dickey led us in some activities that sort of warmed us up to one another and got us talking. Then we moved into an exercise that had us sharing more deeply, one on one. We were asked questions like: “What does the word ‘father’ mean to you?” “What do you think of when you hear the word ‘church?’” “Tell about a significant spiritual moment in your walk with the Lord.” Each person had one minute, uninterrupted, to share their answer and then we moved on to a new partner for the next question. After this, our council chair, Bill Ahlem, offered some reflection about being a council, our roles as spiritual leaders for the church, and the importance of knowing one another so we can become a strong council and leadership team in the coming year. To do this, Bill asked each of us to share our life story in 5-7 minutes and then for everyone to offer prayer and anointing with oil for the person who spoke. Ten people were in attendance, so what should’ve taken about 2 1/2 hours ended up taking the entire retreat--no time at all for that third leg of the stool, STRATEGY!

It was a powerful experience. As each one began to open up more and more about their lives, and as the Holy Spirit brought us together in an attitude of deep unity and concern, the spiritual depth and powerful connection that resulted among us grew strong and rich. The level of honesty that we offered to one another about our lives, our faith, and our needs and concerns brought us better understanding and awareness of each other, which will certainly affect the way we speak and discuss and disagree with one another in the coming year! Our perspectives of each other now are clearer, more true, and full of dimension. We grasp better the spiritual journeys and personal issues that each council member and staff person has grappled with in their lives, and so we appreciate and love one another all the more because of what we now know. People’s life stories grew longer than 5-7 minutes, and then we always gathered around them, asked what they would like prayer for, and every single person prayed for the one who had shared, ending with anointing with oil on the forehead of that person. It was highly emotional and deeply meaningful for all of us, as you can imagine! And late on Saturday morning, when Bruce briefly pointed out that we would never get to the rest of the agenda at the rate we were going, everyone agreed that what was occurring among us was more important than the agenda! We continued to let the experience we were caught up in unfold in its own way, at its own pace, and I am convinced that the council and staff will be all the better for it as the year unfolds. For we have strengthened and highlighted the spiritual and chemistry (relational) legs of our leadership stool in such a way that we will now be able to handle the STRATEGY leg in more healthy, affirmative, timely, and effective ways than would otherwise be able to happen. The council and staff now bring so much depth, connection, awareness, and spiritual capital to whatever lies ahead that nothing will be able to weaken or deplete us as we strategize and handle the church’s business in the year ahead. All of you at Hilmar Covenant Church should be encouraged and excited about the council you have elected and the staff you have chosen to lead the congregation forward into our 107th year of ministry!


Spirituality-Chemistry-Strategy...a three-legged stool...”healthy missional church...” These are words and images and concepts that we have been exploring at Hilmar Covenant the past few years. The definition and meaning and reality of what these mean is becoming clearer for me. Last weekend’s council retreat experience brought me more understanding and focus, and I am eager to see what will unfold in the coming year as we implement these ideas more and more into the life of our congregation.

Ephesians 4:15-16: "...we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work."